Love This Pain
by phoebe9509
Summary: Hotch thinks about Emily and the way she draws him towards him


Song belongs to Lady Antebellum: Love This Pain

Aaron Hotch was screwed, and he knew it! There was something about Emily Prentiss that drew him to her. He found himself falling for her and he couldn't stand it. It had started about a year ago. They started to hang out together outside of the office. She would watch Jack for him if he had a meeting and Jack was infatuated with her. Then they started grabbing lunch together and they went to movies and just talked to each other when times were bad.

It sometimes felt like Emily lived at his apartment and in the beginning Hotch was happy that he found someone to share his thoughts with other than his four year old son, but then his friendship with Emily started to change. He started to notice her for the beautiful woman that she actually was. He found himself looking out of his window down into the bullpen to catch a glimpse of her at work. He would sit next to her on the plane and pair her up with him. He looked forward to hearing her laugh and seeing her smile. He just looked forward to spending time with her in general. He realized that his feelings wouldn't go anywhere. There were rules and he wasn't going to tell her how he felt and risk losing his best friend. And besides he was a stickler for rules. No matter how much he wanted Emily Prentiss, he was under no circumstances going to get her.

_She's no good for me  
I know that she's a wild flower  
She's got a restlessness  
A beautifulness, a thing about her  
But here I am again calling her back  
Letting her drive me crazy_

It's like I love this pain a little too much  
Love my heart all busted up  
Something 'bout her, we just don't work  
But I can't walk away  
It's like I love this pain

Hotch withdrew from Emily. He would come up with lies telling her that he had plans or he was tired and couldn't spend time with her. He could see the hurt in her eyes and on her face, but he needed some space from her. Before he blurted out how he felt.

It broke his heart to be away from her after he got too used to spending almost every waking minute with her. In the end he always went back to her. She would call him up and he would go and hang out or she'd come over. He was torturing himself and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. If he was being honest with himself, he kind of liked the pain.

Emily brought out a side of him that he thought had died long ago. She was pretty wild, and he was drawn to her forwardness. She had a side of her that she kept locked away except when she was around him. She was no good for him. She was drawing him into her and he was going crazy.

_It's just an on again  
And off again situation  
It's just striking a match  
A tank of gas combination  
But here I am again lighting it up  
Knowing that she'll just burn me_

It's like I love this pain a little too much  
Love my heart all busted up  
Something 'bout her, we just don't work  
But I can't walk away  
It's like I love this pain

He had to hide his feelings from her and it was very hard especially when she took him shopping with her and did a fashion show of dresses for him so he could tell her which one she looked best in for her date. He knew he had no right to but he felt like yelling at her for going out on dates. Couldn't she see how much he wanted her? How much he longed for her? And to ask him questions like this was killing him. But he knew she'd burn him long before he agreed to go with her. He was addicted and he couldn't get enough. He couldn't walk away from her, even if he wouldn't be with her like he wanted to, he was willing to suffer and feel the pain just to be her friend. Even though he knew that that was all he was ever going to be to her, that was one pain that he was going to have to deal with no matter how much it hurt.

_It's like I love this life  
When nothing's right, yeah something's wrong  
It's like I'm just not me  
If I can't be a sad, sad song_

It's like I love this pain a little too much  
Love my heart all busted up  
Something 'bout her, we just don't work  
But I can't walk away  
It's like I love this pain  
Oh yeah, it's like I love this pain  
I can't walk away, oh no  
It's like I love this pain _  
_


End file.
